That Bird Is Checking Me Out
by Avatar Rikki
Summary: We aren't sure what went wrong with Sirius Black's mind, but now he seems convinced that a bird has a thing for him. Set during the Maurder's fifth year.


I got this idea while babysitting. They had this bird that was looking at me weird. Its eye was creepy. I began to think what crazy Sirius would do in this situation.

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**Disclaimer: I am not Brittish therefore I am not JK Rowling ergo I do not own Harry Potter or his godfather's insanity.**

That Bird is Checking Me Out

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Its eyes were a clear black. Openly starring at the person in front of him. The bird was quite curious as to why this person had a stick pointed right at him.

"S-Sl-Silencio?' The boy half wispered. The bird cawed.

"Put some feel into it Black," Professor Filtwick squeeked.

"Something wrong Padfoot?" wispered the boy next to him. His bird was also having a hard time keeping quiet. Though the room was filled with croaks and caws from various other crows and frogs, Filtwick was still near enough to hear them.

"I swear that bird is checking me out, Prongs!" Padfoot said, not bothering to keep his voice down. Another boy with sandy colored hair looked at them funny and continued to work on the spell.

"Of course, why wouldn't it?" he exlaimed, as if it was already known. "I mean I am so good looking. All the girls love me." He paused, flashing a smile at the Ravenclaws, who giggled and continued to look at him.

"You have clearly let the air go to your head," Prongs told him. "Silencio!" he cried, shutting his bird up. He flashed a winning smile at the sandy-haired kid next to him. "Hah! Take that Moony." His smile quickly faded as he looked at not a silenced crow, but a silenced crow AND frog in front of his friend.

He threw his wand on the desk in defeat. Padfoot was still trying to silence his crow.

"But man, its creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy," he said, extending the word for dramamtic effect.

"But you're not a bird," Prongs exclaimed.

"But he is an animal."

"Quiet Wormtail," Padfoot hissed, covering the mouth of his pudgy little friend. No one seemed to hear this little statement. Padfoot relaxed and returned his gaze to the bird.

"Don't dogs chase birds," Moony exclaimed matter-of-factly.

"Yes but she has probably fallen for my natural good looks." He straightened up, making the impression he was taller than normal.

"Uh Padfoot," Prongs said, trying to grab his best friend's attention.

"Not now Jamsie," Padfoot exclaimed. "As I was saying, I am like no other dog.."

"Yeah, you're a human most of the time."

"Sush Wormy," he almosted shouted, covering his pudgy friend's mouth again. "Where was I? Oh yes, normal dog..."

Prongs wispered something into Moony's ear. Moony's hand instantly went up to cover his wide grin.

"Padfoot," Prongs said, trying to cover his laughter.

"Not now Prongs," Padfoot said, his voice dangerously high.

"Padfoot," Moony pleaded in fits of giggles.

"No Moony," Padfoot screamed. He got the entire classes attention.

"This bird has a thing for me and shouldn't deny it. Any woman who wants me should have me, no matter if it is human, animal, or even a Crumpled-Horn Snorkstack."

"What's a Crumpled-Horn Snorkstack?" Wormtail wispered to Prongs.

"No idea!"

I pledge that I will turn no lady down!" Padfoot screamed. All the maurders laughter mixed together as they fell to the floor, unable to stop.

"What is wrong with you three?" he asked.

"Padfoot," Prongs chocked out.

"I know, Jamsie, I know. But you will be godfather to our children." More laughter erupted from their mouths. Even Filtwick chuckled.

"T-th-that ma-ay be hard, P-padfoot," Moony chocked.

"Why?" Padfoot asked, quite curious.

"It's a b-boy bird," Prongs answered, inviting the whole class to erupt in laughter. Padfoot ran to the desk, looking underneath the bird's tailfeathers. A scream erupted from his lungs.

"I'm gay," he screamed. "I'm gay gay gay gay gay..." He continued to repeat this as he ran down the hall. The class was still laughing as the bell rang.

"Hey Evans," Prongs called to the red-head prefect as she packed her books.

"What Potter?" she sneered, knowing the question already.

"Would you go out with me?" he asked, looking hopeful.

"No," she answered curtly.

"Worth a try," he told his friends, shrugging his shoulders. "Come along. Let's find our dear little Padfoot. Hopefully he didn't wander too far.

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**Review please! Hope you liked it. It seemed funnier in my head!**

**_Avatar Rikki_**


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